A lifetime of questions, stories, failures, and things I am still learning.
This is not a finished theology or a set of answers you are supposed to accept. It is a living library of what I have experienced, questioned, learned, changed my mind about, and am still trying to understand in my relationship with Jesus.
“Here's what I lived. Here's what I came to understand. I may be wrong about some things. Take whatever is useful and think about it for yourself.”
Start with a question, or follow a thread
You can search for the question that is on your mind, follow one of the connected themes below, or simply open a story and see where the conversation takes you.
Follow a thread through the story
These are not boxes to keep a life inside. They are five threads that keep reappearing as I look back.
48 lessons
Keep the conversation open
A lesson is an invitation to think, not an instruction about what you must believe.
If you are carrying a question, start there. The site's conversations remain another room in this same circle of people talking about Jesus.
In my twenties I was driven by clawing, desperate fear. Today I work twelve hours a day not because I am running away from poverty, but because I am running toward a clear, beautiful purpose.
Where this belongs in Rick's journey
Walking — "I want to walk with my Father."
This may help if you are…
I'm Finding PeaceI'm Learning
PurposeRedemptionFearGratitude
On paper, what I'm doing now sounds exactly like the frantic, stressful hustle of my early twenties. I'm nearly 68 years old, starting a brand-new business from scratch, putting in intense ten- to twelve-hour days.
But internally, the spiritual atmosphere couldn't be more radically different.
In my twenties, I was driven by a clawing, desperate fear — trying to feed three screaming toddlers, save a breaking marriage, and survive the pressure of bankruptcy. The energy came from terror. The motion was escape.
Today, I have no massive dependencies. My children are grown, successful, and independent. The people in my life require no heavy burdens from me. I am working twelve hours a day not because I am running away from poverty, but because I am running toward a clear, beautiful purpose.
Everything the devil intended for evil — the abandonment of my childhood, the severe financial failures, the divorces, and the brokenness of my own hands — God has completely brought good out of it.
That's not a religious bumper sticker. That's a report from the field. I have the receipts. Sixty-eight years of them.
The quality of the effort looks the same from the outside. The quality of the man doing the effort is unrecognizable from who I was. That difference — the interior difference — is the whole story. That is what I am trying to pass on with this page.
Questions for you
What's the difference between working from fear and working from purpose?
Let's talk about this
I have walked with Jesus for 50 years, and I am still learning. Some of my deepest lessons have come through failure and pain, where I have come to see His grace and mercy more clearly.
How does this connect with your own life or relationship with Jesus? Your questions and experiences are welcome, even when you see things differently.
How we care for this conversation
Questions, uncertainty, and different experiences are welcome. Speak from your own life. You do not have to agree with Rick or with one another.
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