Story·1962·Wonder
The Phantom Limb
My father abandoned our family when I was only four or five. His absence created a phantom limb in my emotional life — a constant longing for masculine validation.
The FatherAbandonmentIdentityThe book and stories
Talking About Jesus: Who I Came to Know
I want to leave my children and grandchildren the story of who I came to know. I share my experiences here and leave you room to see things for yourself.
The opening chapters
Read the book as it grows
I began with the night I met Jesus, then followed the life that came after it. These chapters are my account of what I lived, questioned, and came to see. I will keep adding to the story.
Read from the beginning →Chapter 1
I Saw Jesus in the Red Letters
At seventeen, in John's basement bedroom, I opened a King James Bible and saw Jesus in the red letters. I felt as though He had chosen me.
Chapter 2The Fire in the Early Years
The house meetings in Hampton felt like family. We sang, listened, asked questions, and made room for the children to speak.
Chapter 3I Wanted My Children to Know Me
I wanted to be a father my children could know. I loved playing with them, and I also brought anger and selfishness into our home.
Chapter 4The Motel Room
After the waterbed venture fell apart, I found myself in a rundown motel room with a hotplate and a tiny television. My children were the reason I kept going.
Chapter 5Day by Day, I Kept Going
A furniture store gave me work as a manager. Later came television, a house, and more years of learning what my children needed from me.
Chapter 6Learning to Receive Love
I kept returning to Jesus, even through years when I could not feel His presence. Later I began to experience Him close to me again.
Chapter 7Learning to Look Again
Every decade I have seen some part of life differently. I want to share what changed in me and leave others room to see for themselves.
Chapter 8The Work Still in Me
I want to leave my children and grandchildren what I have lived and learned. This past year I have begun to trust God with the time and the work.
Other stories and encounters
Story·1968·Wonder
The Man of the House
Well-meaning relatives looked at me and said, 'You're the man of the house now.' I was just a boy, entirely clueless about how to anchor myself, let alone carry the emotional survival of an entire family.
IdentityShameParentingStory·1985·Breaking
The Porch
I was standing on the front porch when I saw my five-year-old son walking home from kindergarten with his shoulders completely slumped. In one agonizing flash, I realized I was the reason he looked that way.
FatherhoodFailureRedemptionStory·1993·Learning
Building the Sanctuary
My house became their clean, structured sanctuary — a place where they could just breathe and be teenagers. I drew an ironclad boundary: no relationship would ever integrate into our family unit.
FatherhoodParentingPurposeStory·2003·Seeing
The Bittersweet Ache
I consciously poured everything I had into raising them to be exceptionally strong, independent people. And that intention backfired on me. The very strength I gave them is the thing that keeps them from needing me.
FatherhoodRelationshipsLegacyStory·2025·Legacy
What My Grandson Taught Me About Prayer
Last night, my oldest grandson said the timing of what I sent him was perfect — he was trying to understand his own faith apart from his parents' faith. Sitting alone with tears running down my face, I realized none of it had been wasted.
PrayerGrandfatherhoodLegacyStory·2026·Seeing
A Realization About the Women I've Loved
This morning I had a thought that surprised me. The women I've loved throughout my life have shared something with my mother — a certain insecurity, a way of seeing what was wrong before seeing what was good. I'm beginning to wonder if what felt familiar wasn't always what was healthiest.
RelationshipsSelf-AwarenessGraceStory·2006·Seeing
Becoming a Grandfather Changed My Theology
Looking down into the eyes of those innocent grandchildren, I experienced a depth of unconditional love that I didn't know the human heart was capable of. It shattered my understanding of the Father's heart.
The FatherGraceGrandfatherhoodEncounter·1975·Awakening
The Basement Bedroom
In John's bedroom in the basement, I read the red words in a King James Bible and felt that I was meeting Jesus.
JesusAwakeningFaithEncounter·1975·Awakening
Yeah
The next day Russ, the friend I had spent so much time with, asked, “So are you a Jesus freak now?” I said, “Yeah,” and walked into school.
FaithIdentityFreedomEncounter·1976·Awakening
In Jesus' Name
The atmosphere inside the car suddenly shifted into something thick and malicious. She lunged for my throat. In that split second of panic, a phrase dropped into my mind from completely outside my own intellect.
JesusFaithGood and EvilEncounter·1976·Seeking
The Home Meetings
In Hampton, families gathered in a circle to sing, share, and ask questions. Even the children could speak. To me it felt like family.
Religion and RelationshipCommunityFaithEncounter·2012·Seeing
Who Is Between Me and You?
I was in church with my eyes closed when the back wall vanished. Three majestic horses and their riders charged toward me. A piercing voice asked a single question that changed everything.
JesusReligion and RelationshipFreedom