A lifetime of questions, stories, failures, and things I am still learning.
This is not a finished theology or a set of answers you are supposed to accept. It is a living library of what I have experienced, questioned, learned, changed my mind about, and am still trying to understand in my relationship with Jesus.
“Here's what I lived. Here's what I came to understand. I may be wrong about some things. Take whatever is useful and think about it for yourself.”
Start with a question, or follow a thread
You can search for the question that is on your mind, follow one of the connected themes below, or simply open a story and see where the conversation takes you.
Follow a thread through the story
These are not boxes to keep a life inside. They are five threads that keep reappearing as I look back.
48 lessons
Keep the conversation open
A lesson is an invitation to think, not an instruction about what you must believe.
If you are carrying a question, start there. The site's conversations remain another room in this same circle of people talking about Jesus.
Young Rick told me I don't argue anymore. I told him I finally figured out what my job wasn't. People rarely change because someone tells them they should.
Where this belongs in Rick's journey
Walking — "I want to walk with my Father."
This may help if you are…
I'm Finding PeaceI Want to Leave Something BehindI'm Learning
RelationshipsCompassionForgivenessWisdom
"Grandpa..." Young Rick looked at me with a puzzled expression. "You've changed." "I hope so." "No, I mean... you don't seem to argue with people anymore." I laughed. "I've had enough arguments to last a lifetime." "So you gave up?" "No. I finally figured out what my job wasn't."
There was a time when I believed I could change people. If I explained something clearly enough... If I loved them enough... If I prayed hard enough... Surely they'd change. For years, I thought their lack of change meant I had somehow failed. Looking back now, I realize I was carrying a responsibility that was never mine.
Life taught me something I wish I had understood much sooner. People rarely change because someone tells them they should. They change when something inside them becomes ready. Sometimes that "something" is hope. Sometimes it's pain. Sometimes it's love. Sometimes it's finally becoming tired of living the same story. No one else can decide when that moment comes.
"So what do you do?" "I listen." I ask questions. I tell stories. I share what life has taught me. I offer what has helped me. Then I let people decide what to do with it. That isn't giving up. It's showing respect. Every person has to walk their own road. Just like I had to walk mine.
One of the hardest lessons I ever learned was this: You can love someone deeply... And still be unable to make their choices for them. God Himself doesn't force people to love Him. Why did I ever think I could force someone else to change?
"Conversations invite. Arguments corner. One says, 'Come walk with me.' The other says, 'Stand where I stand.'" I've discovered that truth doesn't need to be shouted to be powerful. It needs to be lived.
Looking back now... I don't think people were ever problems waiting to be solved. They were fellow travelers. The people who changed my life didn't fix me. They loved me long enough for me to begin changing myself. If I leave any legacy behind... I hope it's that kind of love.
Questions for you
What's the difference between loving someone and trying to fix them?
Let's talk about this
I have walked with Jesus for 50 years, and I am still learning. Some of my deepest lessons have come through failure and pain, where I have come to see His grace and mercy more clearly.
How does this connect with your own life or relationship with Jesus? Your questions and experiences are welcome, even when you see things differently.
How we care for this conversation
Questions, uncertainty, and different experiences are welcome. Speak from your own life. You do not have to agree with Rick or with one another.
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