Why do I still want someone to see and understand me?
See Me, Know Me
Showing my mother a new car led me into something much deeper: the need we all share to be seen, heard, and loved.
Rick Hesse ·
I had gotten a new car. My mother came to pick me up, and I was excited to show it to her.
Look, Mom. See what I got.
Then I heard something in myself that made me stop. It sounded like a little child calling out, “Look, Mommy. Look, Mommy.”
I was sixty-eight years old, and that feeling was still there. I wanted my mother to see.
At first, I thought about the child still living inside the grown man. Then the thought went deeper. I began to recognize the need underneath it.
“Every human being has that need to be seen and heard and loved.”
That is what I was reaching for. The car gave me something to show her, but the feeling carried me into a much larger question about myself and everybody else.
I want to be understood. I want someone to see who I am, what I care about, what I’m trying to express. And when I recognize that need in myself, it helps me see the same need in another person.
“I put pieces together in a unique way, but my needs are no different than anybody else’s, and vice versa.”
I keep coming back to that. Every person is unique. Each of us has a story and a way of thinking that belongs to us. Yet we share these very ordinary human needs.
As a father and grandfather, I want my children and grandchildren to know something of the man inside the history. What I was feeling. What I was afraid of. What I got wrong. What I loved. What life taught me.
There were things I wished I could understand about my own father. Some questions never received an answer. Leaving my words is one way I can give my family more of the story.
This also connects with how I understand God as Father. My desire to be known by my children helps me think about His desire for His children to know Him. That is a connection I see through being a father myself.
I began with the excitement of showing my mother a car. I ended up seeing something we all carry.
When somebody wants to tell me about their day, their work, or something that matters to them, I hope I’ll remember that feeling.
Look. See me. Hear me.
I know that need too.
This is what I’m beginning to see in my own life. You’re welcome to take your time with it.
Let's talk about this
I have walked with Jesus for 50 years, and I am still learning. Some of my deepest lessons have come through failure and pain, where I have come to see His grace and mercy more clearly.
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